Here's to the middle #

It's been a long time since I felt 'good' about my physique. A really long time actually. I know I'm never going to be what one might call slim... but I really just want to be comfortable in my own skin. I want to feel good about wearing clothes that are fun.

I have tried convincing myself that looks aren't all that important, because I have a husband who adores me, and doesn't seem to acknowledge, or care about, my physical flaws. However, that just hasn't worked.

Last year, Taylor and I joined a gym and we started going religiously. Then, my parents jumped on the bandwagon and they started going religiously. Then, we moved away and I stopped going. The progress I had made towards weight loss was gradually erased by my increasing laziness and tendency to comfort myself with food. I do have a particular liking for sweet things.

Rodney and I have come up with a contest. We are each doing our own diet thing (and trying to work out at the YMCA as much as possible). We are weighing weekly and then will declare a winner on Christmas Day. The prizes are... if I win (which I will) he is taking me to some type of musical.... but if he wins (which he won't), there will be a sporting event in our futures. We have an anniversary coming up in January (8 years!) So, we will celebrate my accomplishments then.

Now, I tell you all this simply to provide the background information you need to be truly happy for this little piece of news. I have a new middle #. I can't tell you what it is, but I can tell you that it is a number I have not seen since.... well.... maybe since we were first married. I'm sort of pysching myself out about it too (well, maybe the scales aren't accurate...) because I just can't believe I'm actually seeing that number. Weird. I've seen lots of other numbers (higher ones), but I haven't seen this particular, very special number. I'm ecstatic. It is the number that comes right after the number that is in the middle of my goal weight, which means I'm very close to being sort of normal. Well, normal for me anyway. I think (last year's weight loss included), I may have actually lost a total of 20 pounds.


Here's to the middle # - It's good to see you friend, it's been such a long, long time since you visited me. I really missed you. I thought of you often. I thought of the days when we would go shopping and the clothes would fit just perfectly. I thought of the pictures we had made, and how I thought I looked so big then... but now realize how cute I was. It's so good to have you back in town. But, dear middle #.... please don't stay too long. I'm anxious to meet the cousin you've been describing. You've often told me how energetic she would make me feel, how I might even have more self-confidence. You've mentioned that she's alot like you, except that when I'm with her, I might actually feel good about the pictures I take, or the clothes I wear. I really look forward to meeting her. I hope I'll see her on the scales really soon :)